Uncle Function @UncleFunction
We are @ChrisCafero @TheDouglasG @Jay_Frey @RussJDaniels & @GianmarcoSoresi. 4X @ucbtny Backyard-Brawl-Winning #sketch team. UncleFunction.com Manhattan, NY Joined June 2015-
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Uncle Function retweeted
When I was 20, I went as Indiana Jones to a haunted trail and a guy called me "Indiana Jews" and then immediately fell and sprained his ankle and was screaming in pain and the scare actors didn't know what to do so a bunch of skeletons dragged him away. I think about this a lot.
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Uncle Function retweeted
no one venmo requests you faster than someone who is fully supported by their parents
Uncle Function retweeted
The news is always like: "America has banned wheelchair ramps because they weren't in the Bible. Finland has made ice cream free."
Uncle Function retweeted
In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court has decided that if two people order nachos to share, one person actually CAN eat all the fully loaded ones. All the ones with the meat and cheese and everything, the ones that are fully loaded, it’s OK for your date to hog them.
Uncle Function retweeted
Uncle Function retweeted
for father’s day they’re letting all the dads show up to the airport as early as they want. this guy next to me isn’t flying until thursday
Uncle Function retweeted
New episode of The Downside with @kylekinane out now. Listen on Spotify: open.spotify.com/episode/13eyYQ… Watch on YouTube: youtu.be/cqs6fiyexAc
Uncle Function retweeted
My dad never yelled “MAKE ME A TREATY OF VERSAILLES”
Uncle Function retweeted
“The Jews run Hollywood” then how about a fucking thank you???????
Uncle Function retweeted
Uncle Function retweeted
The movie theatre: No outside food or candy allowed Me:
Uncle Function retweeted
Thoughts on abortion aside, how can one not help but feel that this entire thing is an affront to representative democracy and a subversion of the will of the People? 3/3
Uncle Function retweeted
This is why I tell so many divorce jokes
Uncle Function retweeted
I was getting my license renewed at the dmv and before the woman took my picture she was like “wait aren’t you a movie star?” and I smiled real wide and was like “mayyyyyybe” I’ve never starred in a movie in my entire life which can only mean that woman is from the future
Check your privilege or we’ll check it for you
Happy birthday, Bernie Mac. We miss you now and always 👑
Uncle Function retweeted
I swear to god if you don’t tell a comedy club what picture to use, they’ll frame a dozen photos of your mom’s ultrasound with a Comedy Central logo in the corner
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