@Ryan_Daigler Your material and posts r so on point. Thank you they have helped me so much with accepting what I did and why. If you can speak to the enablers that support and normalise their behaviour would be beneficial. 🙏
Narcissistic people cannot be changed. Do not waste your time trying. Because they do not operate the way you think they do.
You are approaching them with logic. With evidence. With patience and well constructed arguments about how their behavior affects you. And none of it lands. Not because they do not understand. But because understanding was never the point for them. Their actions are not driven by logic. They are driven by pride. And pride does not negotiate.
Every conversation you have trying to reason with them becomes a threat to their self image. Every piece of feedback, no matter how carefully delivered, is received as an attack. Every boundary you set is interpreted as a challenge to their authority over you. You are not dealing with someone who wants to grow. You are dealing with someone who is entirely focused on protecting a version of themselves that cannot be questioned.
And here is what makes it exhausting. They are skilled. They know how to make you feel like the problem. They know how to reframe every conflict so that your legitimate concern becomes your character flaw. They know how to stay just reasonable enough to keep you engaged while never actually changing anything.
So you try harder. You explain more clearly. You adjust your approach. You give more chances. All while they remain exactly who they are, completely unmoved, because your effort was never going to change someone who does not believe they need to change.
Narcissistic people do not change because they do not think the problem is them. It will never be them. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you stop spending your energy on someone who was never going to give you anything back for it.
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