The Lessons I Learned from My Dad
I am not the man my father is.
I am trying. Some days closer. Some days farther.
He never sat me down and explained these lessons. He lived them. I’m still learning them.
Show up.
The kitchen table. The hospital room. The funeral. The picket line. The call from the son who won’t answer.
Show up.
Most days that’s the whole job.
My whole life I watched him do it. Not for cameras. Not for headlines. Not because there was something in it for him. He showed up because someone needed him.
I learned that grief doesn’t make you special.
My father buried a wife and daughter. He buried a son. Yet he never treated grief as a claim on other people’s sympathy. Instead, it made him notice theirs.
A mother who lost a child. A father sitting beside a hospital bed. A kid scared about what comes next. A son who lost his mother, his sister, his brother.
He always noticed.
I learned that power is not the point.
The people who chase power eventually confuse the office with themselves.
My father never did.
Whether he was a county councilman, a senator, vice president, or president, he was the same man.
The title changed.
He didn’t.
I learned that family comes first.
The train from Wilmington wasn’t symbolism.
It was every night.
He read to us. Showed up to games. Sat through hospital rooms. Waited up for children who were lost.
And when the day came that the country and the family could not both have him at full strength, he chose family. He relinquished the last chapter of how he wanted to be remembered. And he never complained about it.
Most of all, I learned that love is not soft.
Love is discipline.
Love is showing up at one in the morning when nobody is watching.
Love is answering the phone.
Love is staying.
Love is getting back up after life knocks you down and doing it all again tomorrow.
That love saved my life.
I’ve failed at many of these lessons, sometimes in very public ways.
He loved me anyway.
That’s the last lesson.
I am not trying to become my father.
I am trying to carry what he gave me.
And if I can do that, even imperfectly, that will be enough.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I love you.
@lebanesesince92@ImBreckWorsham I can believe this in other matters, but not this. Trump is impulsive and insane. The elites (whoever they are) are not and do not want to die. Maybe when their off-planet pleasure palaces are ready.
@TS199052@AwesomeNewsom It would surprise any sane person if it was anyone. Nobody puts algae in a pool that already had an algae problem. He is hallucinating.
@CharlesPPierce And now Republicans are the conservative party, and have moved so far to the right that they mock and scorn the celebration of this day, while valorizing the Confederacy and its symbols. Take this meme. It’s not intended to share in the glory of the day, but as mockery.
Oh you see us? oooooh scarey. He didn’t deliver “peace in our time.” He signed a surrender document after starting an illegal war he couldn’t finish.
He told you Iran’s missile program would be obliterated, then went on television and said it was only “fair” for Iran to keep ballistic missiles. So apparently the new America First doctrine is this: attack a country, get Americans killed, damage our own bases, spike global risk, then hand the other side sanctions relief, reconstruction money, and permission to keep missiles.
That isn’t strength. That is the convicted felon negotiating his way back to where we were before he created the disaster. He was right about one thing unconditional surrender, ours.
And if this is the new standard, I hear Greenland wants us to attack them next so they can get the same deal.
@StillwaterCol@kylegriffin1 That’s a complete non sequitur. She said nothing bizarre, racist, or anti-American. Is this just a canned comment you make whenever she is mentioned?
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